About

I self-identified as AuDHD at 47. I am not formally diagnosed. I write from lived experience, not clinical authority.

For 47 years I built compensatory systems so sophisticated that nobody — including me — could see what was underneath. I am a developer by trade, which means I spent my career debugging complex systems. Turns out the most complex system I have ever encountered was my own brain.

I write this blog for women (and people socialized as women) who were diagnosed or self-identified late. Who built elaborate coping mechanisms that worked until they didn't. Who are navigating the 40s — perimenopause, accumulated burnout, the unraveling of the mask.

What this space is

A field guide written by someone inside the experience, for people inside the experience. Two formats:

• Field Guides — practical, scannable, here's-what-to-try
• Dispatches — personal, raw, here's-what-it-felt-like

What this space is not

Not a medical resource. Not an awareness campaign. Not inspirational content. I do not have answers — I have experiences, experiments, and the honesty to say when they stop working.

On self-identification

The average age of autism diagnosis in women is decades later than in men. Many women never receive formal diagnosis due to cost ($2,000–5,000 for evaluations), provider ignorance about female presentation, and diagnostic criteria designed by observing young boys. Self-identification through extensive research and lived experience is valid. I state this once, plainly, without apology.